Me as a Daphne

The story of my life

Is our love life a constant repetition of the myth of Apollo and Daphne? Is Cupid still shooting his arrows thoughtlessly?  These were the questions that I asked myself last night as I fell asleep.  A couple of months ago my life was normal (now I am lying, my life has never been normal), but what I’m trying to say is that I did not have a boyfriend.  The only relationship I have had just ended before Christmas.  I was sad, but long-distance relationships are difficult- but for some reason I like them the most.  My sweet Canadian lover and I had decided to stop talking and it hurts, but I understood that it needs to be done.  Then my best friend and ex -boyfriend decided to come back to Bozeman to spend the New Year’s with me while leaving his girlfriend behind.  In the past, he had promised me that he will break up with her, but it took him longer than it should and by the time he made that decision, I had moved on. Now I feel like he is chasing me in a way that I don’t like.  Now I know how Daphne felt when Apollo was chasing her.  While my dear friend made these amazing plans for the time being and the future, I feel suffocated. As he is building his house he says things like, I will build you a work-shop so you can do your art, I will build you a big walking closet for all your clothing, I will build you a Jacuzzi, so you can take your afternoon bath……  and as he keep saying these things and making all these wonderful plans, all I want to do is run away.  In the past, I remember the days when all I wanted to do was to see him, and when this happened, he was always with his new girlfriend. As difficult as it was for me to see him with her at that time, I understood that I was responsible for the break up. It was my decision, but every I saw him I had melancholy about the past.  Maybe it was my terrible fear of commitment that did not allow me to be happy.  Maybe it was this fear that made me break up with him?  And for a long time I wonder why? Fortunately, for me, after taking this mythology class, now I know that it’s Cupid’s fault as he does to me what he did to Apollo and Daphne.  He hits me every time with the opposite arrow.  Since now all I want to do is be with my Canadian lover.